The Fear, The Freedom, and The Truths
My 6-week Carnivore Cheat
It’s been six weeks. Six weeks of a strict, therapeutic carnivore diet. And this past week has been a perfect encapsulation of the entire messy, unpredictable, and profoundly rewarding healing journey I have been on so far.
Last week started with me wondering if I'd ever be able to stray more than ten feet from a toilet again. It ended with me having a bottle of wine, feeling freer than I have in years, and waking up another pound lighter.
Just after I published my 5-week update, my body decided it was time for a major clear-out. After a week of constipation and feeling "stuck," the dam finally broke. I experienced a massive biofilm purge, which had began and I had mentioned on my last update, but it continued, a messy, unpleasant, but undeniable sign that my body was expelling a huge amount of old, toxic waste.
While it was a massive sign of progress, the timing was, frankly, terrifying. I was due to go away for a conference at the weekend, and the thought of travelling while my digestion was so chaotic filled me with dread. It's the unglamorous reality of a healing crisis, your life has to go on, even when your body is in the middle of a war.
I packed my bags, said a little prayer to the poo gods, and headed off.
The Weekend Test
The conference was a real-world test of my resolve.
On Friday evening, we arrived, and there was a social event with free-flowing alcohol and canapés. My husband and I navigated it successfully. We stuck to water, mingled, chatted, and proved to ourselves that we could be in that environment without giving in. Which is much easier to do now as the physical food cravings have gone and left the building a few weeks ago, another huge positive part of being either low or no carb, because it gets rid of all food cravings and over time rids you of food addiction.
It was a beautiful evening surrounded by beautiful people. The people I have worked with these past 6 months since I started teaching with Active Health Group, but I had also studied with them too, so they have all been such a huge part of my life for almost 5 years. It was such a lovely time to finally meet in person. Those who had once been my own teachers, and also to meet some of my students. Just a fabulous experience all round. And for me, this was a really big test as I haven’t really done a social event without wine for a long time.
In the past, it wouldn’t even have dawned on me to refuse a drink. Even when they said “Oh, we have non alcoholic drinks too”, these wouldn’t have been carnivore-friendly either. So we stuck to water
On Saturday, we stayed on track all day, finding carnivore-friendly options like dry-cured salami and other meats. Cured meats tend to be not as "clean" as what I'd eat at home, but they were a good compromise.
The day was once again filled with a lovely atmosphere and profound talks and just great energy.
But by Saturday evening, the struggle hit. We were back in our Airbnb, a lovely house in Manchester that we had booked for the whole weekend, and we arrived back from our lovely day at the conference with no plans to go out.
The conference itself was a test. Social events, temptations, and the ingrained rituals of how we used to relax. By Saturday evening, the struggle was very real. It wasn't a physical craving; it was a deep, psychological ache for a moment of normalcy. It was the feeling of being on the outside looking in, of being deprived of a shared experience. I was tired of the internal fight.
So, we made a conscious choice. This wasn't a slip; it was a planned "night off." We went to Tesco, bought beautiful steaks, bacon, and made a delicious ketovore meal with an avocado and sour cream dip. We honoured the core principles of our diet, but allowed ourselves a moment of variety and pleasure. And yes, I had the wine.
The Conscious Choice & The Two Truths
Before going to Tesco I had been thinking about conversations of the day and chatted to my husband about how I was feeling.
One of these conversations had been with one of my own tutors when I had been a student with Active Health Group. She too, is Carnivore, and her partner is a Carnivore Weight Loss Coach. She asked me why I'd chosen to go carnivore, and completely unexpectedly, I started to cry. "Because I didn't have anything else left to try," I told her. "I wasn't healing, and I do not want to die. Not yet anyway." It was a raw, visceral reminder of the stakes. This isn't a diet; it's a fight for my life.
Even as I type these words the tears are brimming back in my eyes. I hadn’t really taken time to truly think of me and my why for quite some time. Well not out loud to another person and someone who is also a coach and knew the right questions to ask me. It touched me to the core and was a massive reminder that we all need that support and why I do what I do. And why it means so much to me.
In that moment, I wasn’t a Nutritional Therapist, I was just me, Linda. Me, who had been so massively ill that I was scared for my life. Me, who had made the decision to make this journey to better health. Me, who had managed to get to my first 6-week goal. I had no idea until that moment just how emotional I was about it all.
The second thing that came out of that conversation was when I mentioned my business frustrations. Dawn, my tutor and now colleague looked at me and said, "Maybe you were supposed to do the work on you first. This work. This time." Not sure this was the exact words, but this was my take from her words.
The truth is not often a comfortable thing to face, but it was one as I reflected on it more later to be true. Even though I had been working, or trying to work on my own health for years, I had not quite gotten there previously. In that moment, or later that evening, I realised I couldn't authentically teach this until I had truly embodied it. All the other attempts had managed symptoms and had gotten me so far, but this time was different. I was changing in every possible way this time around. It was more than just the physical changes.
I had done Keto before and even Carnivore, but this time it was different, this time I have embodied it. I have treated myself with care and love the way I would an actual client.
With these truths in my mind, my husband and I made a decision. We weren't going to "cheat" or have an impulsive slip. We were going to have a planned, conscious "night off."
So as I mentioned earlier, off we went to Tesco.
“Give yourself permission to allow this moment to be exactly as it is, and allow yourself to be exactly as you are.”
― Jon Kabat-Zinn
Sunday and the Aftermath
I expected to wake up feeling rough and full of regret. But the opposite happened. I woke up around 8.30am and got up and pottered around our weekend home, had a shower and got ready for my friend who lives close by, who was coming over to visit for the afternoon.
The psychological release I experienced was immediate. By consciously choosing to have that night off, on my own terms, I broke the power of the "I can't" mindset. The constant tension of restriction vanished.
Now I am in no way advocating that anyone do this when on their own journey. Alcohol, as we all know, is a toxin. But I wanted to share the truth of my own journey, and this was part of it. For me, it was almost like continually telling myself I couldn't have something was almost making it worse, especially whilst we were on hols.
I am now in no rush to do it again, because the feeling of deprivation is gone. That is true food freedom. Plus, even though I did enjoy our wee night, I much prefer the way life is now in every way.
I have had absolutely no cravings whatsoever, and we are now on Tuesday, the following week and if anything, I want alcohol even less than I ever have before. I truly feel free, and as much as some might think, well, you shouldn’t have had it at all. I feel different. I gave myself permission to have our holiday on our terms. We had a lovely evening, my husband and I, and that in itself was so important because we do not often get time on our own.
And my body, far from punishing me, showed me just how resilient it has become.
- The Skin Was Calm-ish: I had only a mild skin flare, which I easily soothed with a late-night shower and some coconut oil. No major drama.
- The Healing of the past 6 weeks is Visible: My friend who visited us on Sunday commented, unprompted, on how clear my eyes and skin looked.
This has been such a profound journey, not just on a cellular level, but on an emotional one.
Six months ago, I was in a really dark place. Today, I am clear-headed, my hormones are balanced, and I am well and truly on my way to healing my body properly and forever. The change is remarkable.
And today (Tuesday) I weighed in just to see if I had done anything to what the scales might say and I was down another lb. Bringing me to a total of 19lbs in just 6 weeks.
The Next Goal & The Final Lesson (for now)
This experience has solidified my next goal. I am so excited to stay carnivore, or as close to it as possible, for the rest of this year. If I want something different, I'll make a conscious, ketovore choice. This isn't a temporary diet for me anymore; this is my new way of life.
I am now almost back at the weight I had gotten to on my 2020/2021 healing journey, before I injured my knee and lost track a bit.
Before the immense stress of the last few years took its toll.
I had been giving myself such a hard time before this moment because I told myself I should have been at my goal weight much sooner due to my achievements years earlier. But I had never just stopped to give myself grace, the grace of forgiveness and love. The acceptance that I had spent 3 years studying intensely between 2021 and 2024. And to be honest, I had been doing that for the last 18 years, not just 3. I had not been able to give myself the love I am learning to now, because I was too busy beating myself up.
This journey has taught me, once again, that healing must be a conscious decision, not an afterthought. The care and consideration must come with it.
We are not an afterthought or unimportant. Our healing comes from all aspects. The love and the nurture and the nutrients.
So this is where I am at in just 6 weeks.
I have found self-love and compassion, I would say again, but to be honest, I think it might be the first time I have truly meant it.
If you would like to work on this for yourself, fill out my health intake form, and we can get started. And you do not have to go Carnivore, I will meet you where you are, and we'll take it from there.
You can find the link to my Health form below.
“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.”
- Brené Brown
Until the next post.
Linda McClure
Cut the Bullshit
In Health | In Business | In Life
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